Soundtrack to my life… / trying to distract myself from my pain…

i ripped this one off from emily at The Sassy Lime! These things are super fun. if my life was a movie… what would my soundtrack be?

so, here’s how it works: 1.) open your music library.  2.) put it on shuffle.  3.) press play.  4.)  for every question, type the song that’s playing.  5.) when you go to a new question, press the next button.  6.) don’t lie and try to pretend you’re cool.

opening credits: “We’re All In This Together” – Old Crow Medicine Show.  Pretty chill song, a nice message.

waking up: “Jessica” – Graham Colton Band.  Hmm. They have a song called “Waking Up”, that would have been more appropriate. However, for this song, the second line is “why am I not sleeping in your bed?”

first day at school: “From A Balance Beam” – Bright Eyes. This song is on a random mix from a friend, so I don’t know it very well… I don’t really think it has much to do with school, but I just looked up the lyrics, and found some lines that are very appropriate for me/fellow headache peeps:

                                Now I’m staring at the sun, waiting for it to explode
Because a day is gonna come, don’t know when but it will come
And we’ll finally know the way out of here

in love: “Dark Eyes Blue” – Brian Bergeron.  He’s a local MA artist, very cool.

fight song: “Glass Waltz” – Vertical Horizon.  It’s not exactly a fight song, more of a song about the delicate dance that can happen within relationships when it comes to discussions and worry about the future.

breaking up: “Hundred” – The Fray. “ Cause we have spoken everything /Everything short of I love you.”

Prom: “Gelt Melts” – The LeeVees.  Hahaha… This is a Chanukah song… but I guess if your prom happened to be during the holiday season, it would be fine! And I love Chanukah.  And Gelt.

life’s ok: “Son’s Gonna Rise” – Citizen Cope with Santana.  I really like this song, a good edition to a driving mix.

mental breakdown: “Just Friends” – Gavin DeGraw.  Not a breakdown song for me, but I can see how someone may get upset at hearing this song after hearing from someone that they have a crush on that they want to be “just friends”. maybe?

driving: “Come And Get Me” – Timbaland (feat. Tony Yayo & 50 Cent).  Timbaland’s new cd is great for driving!

flashback: “Bouncin’ Round the Room” – Phish.  This actually does serve as a flashback for me!  When I was a freshman in high school a friend of mine who was in our freshmen men’s choir made an a capella mix TAPE for me, and there was a version of this song on that tape.  I think I played that tape until it couldn’t be played anymore.

getting back together: “Bul Ma Min” -Orchestra Baobob (w/ Dave Matthews and Trey Anastasio).  This is a fun group from Senegal that recently got back together after many years apart… this is an upbeat song, so i think it fits the bill

birth of child: “This Means You” – Talib Kweli (w/ Hi-Tek and Mos Def).   “You, need, to, get, up, right, now and, move, with, this, yes, this, means, you.”   Haha… not exactly an “I’m having a baby” song, but there’s an idea of getting up and moving… to the hospital?  I think I would request a new song if I could!

wedding: “Kit Kat Jam” – Dave Matthews Band.  Not exactly the DMB song I would imagine getting married to…

final battle: “Airport Song” – Guster.   “Who’s your daddy? I’m your daddy now.”  Yeahh, take that, foo!

death scene: “Be My Baby” – The Ronettes.   Whoops, iTunes.  Not quite a death scene. Moving on…

funeral song: “We Can Make It Better” – Kanye West (Ft. Talib Kweli, QTip, Common).  Wow, way to go once again.  Wouldn’t a funeral be a little late to make things better?  Just a little???

end credits: “Grace Is Gone” – Dave Matthews Band.   “Excuse me please, one more drink… can you make it strong, ’cause I don’t need to think…”   Alright, I guess that if we’ve already had the funeral, people can cry over me at the bar over some drinks…

Whew!

 

An instant message from Dad / caregivers/supporters are troopers

(dad’s screen name): im sorry sweetie, like ive said many times, i wish that i could make it leave your head and go into mine

My parents tell me that quite often… I always tell them the same thing in return: that I wouldn’t want them or anyone else to have to suffer through this pain! I don’t know what I would do without my parents through this whole ordeal… not that my boyfriend and friends haven’t been here for me through thick and thin and done so many things to keep my spirits up, but my parents have taken me for tests and my mom sat with me in the hospital last summer in a whole different state (dad was working)… it goes to show that caregivers are really troopers, too.

Here are just some of MY troopers:

Mom and Dad on a recent cruise (jealoussssss)

Me with D on a ride at a fair this past fall

an evening out with some of the girls (I think we can tell that having a drink doesn’t hurt! )

 

Owww.

I just had the WORST SHARP PAINS that I have had in weeks. Literally.

Just 5 minutes ago, for about 3 minutes straight, I stood against the wall in the kitchen (just because that’s where I was when it hit) and grabbed my head and keeled over.

As fast as it came over me, it went away.  I’m exhausted from it, as if I am a battery that had power zapped from it.

I can’t go to bed yet, however… I still have some pain, and I can just feel that it will be too hard to fall asleep with it… I’ll just have to “wait it out” with the tv/computer and distract myself for a little while until the pain lessens and I can try to slip into bed and to sleep before the pain grows (I could watch tv in bed until I fall asleep, but my boyfriend is already goin to sleep – he has to wake up early for work).

This type of post is the type that i don’t normally expect to be able to post right after the fact…  I’m glad I’m able to share this experience, especially for those who aren’t familiar with NDPH.  I guess tonight’s “quick sharp pain” can be compared to a migraine, but I just didn’t have any of the “extras” that go along with it – no aura, no nausea, no sensitivities to anything, etc.

It just comes whenever.

This is why it can be so hard to make plans, to know when I can really drive a long distance, or how I’ll feel for a whole day walking around our favorite city. I have NO IDEA if I’m going to have a problem, very similar to my migraine friends.

And… yeah. It’s messing with my concentration right now. I think I better wrap this entry up.  Just wanted to share so others could get a feel (at least not literally) of what can happen 1+++ times during my day. Everyday.

 

Wow! Thank yous and Congratulations…

This post has a dual purpose… I’m still smiling

1st: I received an email from MyMigraineConnection.com informing me that my blog is one of 10 Top Site Award Recipients! Here is what their page with all the honored sites says:

“Our 2007 Top Site winners include small websites and individual blogs and were chosen based on their candid and informative content. In giving these awards, we hope to recognize the individuals and organizations who share our vision in providing comprehensive, interactive and vital information on living with head pain disorders. MyMigraineConnection and HealthCentral.com would like to congratulate our 2007 winners and sincerely thank them for producing high-quality, influential sites in the Migraine community!”

I never realized that my page would be recognized in this way I feel very honored, and thank the two sites and people involved for selecting my page.

2nd – The THANK YOUs go out to everyone who has visited my page and has given me words of encouragement. I also thank those whose headache pages that I visit regularly – the fact that we all do our best to keep up with our pages is helping so many people, and most importantly, ourselves. It really has helped me to deal with the emotional aspect of my “headache journey”. For that, I thank you.

The CONGRATULATIONS go out to everyone who also had their sites honored!

www.thedailyheadache.com

http://www.migrainecast.com

http://abimigraines.blogspot.com/index.html

http://www.migraineblog.com/

http://www.helpforheadaches.com/

http://www.migrainechickie.blogspot.com/

http://deborah-weatheringmigrainestorms.blogspot.com/

http://versilleus.blogspot.com/

http://migraineur.blogspot.com/

So, basically, you should make sure to visit these other GREAT headache/migraine blogs and sites. I am very new to the world of blogging, but have really enjoyed it so far, and plan to continue it as long as I need to. Hopefully, together as a headache and migraine community, we will all be able to post positive final entries on our pages someday soon.

And with that, I shall attempt to sleep after a long headache day.

Joanna

 

Time to make the donuts, time to change the dosage…

I’m at about the 1-month mark for the lowering of the Topamax  (200-150mg/day).  At first, I didn’t really notice too much difference in the pain level – the main point of lowering the dose was to help with the memory issues that it causes.  I really haven’t noticed any improvements.  After a little while, however, my headache has become more apparent and now I’m taking rescue meds almost every day (as opposed to barely 1 time/week before).  The doc who called me back from my headache doc practice (who, by the way, I have never heard of before – but he was very nice, luckily) suggested that I move up to 175mg/day until I see my new doc (July 12)… if that doesn’t work though, I will have to just go back to 200 for the time being.

Never a dull moment…

P.S.  I’ve been coming across more and more headache blog friends, and even though it’s unfortunate that we are in this situation, it’s been so helpful to know that there are others out there who are doing their best to share what they can.  So, thank you to all my new friends

 

“6 Weird Things” meme

Kerrie from “The Daily Headache” tagged me! I have to come up with 6 weird/random things about myself, and then tag 6 others to do the same. Here goes…

1. I have seen just about every episode of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. I can also do “The Carlton Dance” from the show… that usually comes out only if I am drinking with friends.

2. As a child, I had a goldfish (named “Goldie”, of course) that a friend gave me – she had won it at a fair and her parents wouldn’t let her keep it. The fish lived for 8 years, but it had some sort of tumor-looking thing on its side. She is currently buried in my parents’ backyard, with a little painted brick marking where she is. Goldie was a trooper!

3. My mom and I secretly nicknamed one of the doctors at my headache office “McDreamy” (as in, Grey’s Anatomy) because we thought he was very cute. I didn’t want to have a spinal tap, but finally when I was in the hospital last summer (as an inpatient for my headaches) the doctors decided to do one to rule out more “headache things”… I didn’t mind the fact that it was him who was doing the tap. He’s not even in that practice anymore. Tear!

4. Ever since I was little, and I’ve had to get any kind of shot (allergies, etc.), I always feel like I have to watch the nurse administer the shot. I have to know when the needle is going in, because I have an irrational fear that if I don’t, I may jerk my arm as a reaction to the shock of the pain and there could be a problem with the needle… like I said, irrational fear. This, however, is not the case for having blood drawn… I have to look away while that is happening. Go figure!

5. I can wiggle my ears. Plain and simple.    [EDIT: I wanted to add that the only others in my family who share this trait are my cousin Julia, and my paternal grandfather was able to do it as well!]

6. Peanut Butter + Jelly + Cream Cheese = Delicious. For real. When I was in elementary school, an elderly babysitter that we had knew that my brother and I liked pb&j sandwiches, and also cream cheese & jelly sandwiches. She said that if we liked both, why not mix them together? Soo good. Use any jelly you want.

I didn’t promise that I wasn’t weird…

So, now I get to tag people! If you’ve been tagged for this before, my bad! Have fun! -http://migrainechickie.blogspot.com/ – http://paininthebrain.wordpress.com/ – haha i think these are the only other people on my blog list who haven’t been tagged by Kerrie… oh well !

 

Article: Periodontists + Jawbones = Migraines?

http://www.courant.com/features/lifestyle/hc-headaches.artjun22,0,2228672.story

This article is from the Hartford Courant, and discusses how it can be the jaw alignment that could be causing migraines (the periodontist first mentioned even thinks that King Tut suffered from a jaw alignment problem, causing him severe headaches!).

It’s an interesting read.  I have already visited a TMJ/myofacial pain specialist and had a night guard made because he said that I grind my teeth at night.  I wore the thing for a year and a half straight with no difference. I still have it, of course, but it would just suck the moisture out of my mouth within the first minute of having it in, and I just haven’t been wearing it because I haven’t felt that it was helping me at all.   BUT, you never know — the answer for some people could be as simple as a visit to the dentist

 

Back to School, Back to School (soon…eek!)

For about 5 weeks, starting the 1st week of July, I am going to re-enter the classroom. I will be a student for the first time since May 2006 (I took a “distance learning” course with some of my coworkers this year but it was all on our own, no teacher, no class). I’m still in the midst of taking my teacher licensure tests, and so once those are passed, I will be fully licensed to teach. I would prefer, however, to get my Masters before teaching, and with all the headache junk, I have had trouble passing the tests (which has in turn delayed my graduate school time). So, I’m going to be taking “Reading and Writing Across the Curriculum” for non-degree Graduate credit at a college in my area – and it’s a school that I wouldn’t mind going to for my Masters. The class is even included within their MAT (Masters of Teaching) program, as it typically is at a lot of schools.

I’m just hoping that it’s not too intense, work-wise. I know that my doctors always talk about the summers as a good time to try new things with my medications, but I essentially lost most of my summer last year because of that. I spent the bulk of the summer on the couch in front of the TV, crying to my mother. I was even at my beach house at that time, and I barely saw the beach. Pathetic. I basically don’t want that again, even though I obviously want to find things that will help me feel better… it’s something that us “headache people” seem to fight with daily. Soo frustrating.

Luckily, the course is 2 days per week, and it’s only from 10-1. I tend to feel better in the earlier part of the day, so hopefully that will help. I’m just hoping I can get all the work done in time!

I’m starting to feel a buildup of pain, so I should probably sign off. Feels like a good ole night tonight… ugh.

 

For anyone with a credit card/bank account (ie. you!)

So, right after you read this, you should check your bank statements and/or your credit card statements. Really, you should. That was my credit card, above, that I just an hour ago had to cut up because someone decided that it would be cool to charge $13 to “test out” my credit card, and then “go for the gold” by charging $766. I don’t know what the 2nd amount was even for, since it was through Google – I’m waiting for them to get back to me.  The 1st purchase was for a Queens of the Stone Age CD. I mean, come on. The person didn’t even TRY to order me something that I would like!  I do have the CD, though. I figure I’ll try to sell it online, make a few bucks off of it, hehe. 

But in all seriousness, I am lucky that my bank is on the job and cancelled my card, and is taking care of the charges. Things you can do:

- Check your bank statement/credit card bill regularly! Do it online, don’t just wait for the paper statement!

- Have your bank and credit card phone number programmed into your cell phone – the numbers for the “I lost my card/My card was stolen” line. They will hook you up, I promise. It worked today.

So… yeah. Be careful out there! It was pretty scary when I logged into my account and saw the PENDING charges… not so wonderful of an afternoon, especially when my head has been wavering!

 

(Non-Headache entry, photo-style)

8 Person Bikes in Boston!

Originally uploaded by rockspectacle24

8Person Bikes in Boston! There’s a driver and we just helped pedal It’s quite a workout!  I felt GREAT that day (this past Friday, 15th), so it really sticks out in my mind as a wonderful day.  It’s not a totally random entry